I am so excited to be bringing this to you today! I recently did an interview with Tonya Rineer who helps women build a successful, thriving and profitable business and the host of The Profit Party Podcast. We talked all about mindset and how to switch all the negatives into positives. This includes how to identify your triggers, transform your limiting beliefs, and take charge of what you want.
If you are reading this and thinking about creating a digital product, thinking about sharing your message with the world and then this mindset comes in where you start saying things to yourself. Can I really do this? Who am I to share my expertise? Who am I to charge? There's other people out there better than me more experienced than me.
What Tonya says to somebody like that
“There are and there's always going to be people that have started before you or that have taken a different path.”
BUT…what they don’t have is your experience. No one can provide your perspective which makes you so different from everyone else. “What is important to remember is you're not here to teach the expert that knows more than you. You're here to teach this the person who knows less than you.” You are better at it than somebody else and that is who you focus on instead of focusing all the attention on who's better than you.
I think as the person who is just starting out sometimes we don't want to go to the person that’s so far ahead of us. We want somebody who's been there recently. I always tell people if you want to do something and you are following somebody that did it 10 years ago or 20 years ago, know that the strategies they did then are not the strategies you're going to be doing now.
There are so many pros that sometimes we just don't see because we think, but I'm new what are they going to think? People say to me all the time when they meet me in person that I am so normal and they're so excited that I'm normal. That's what people want! They just want to hang out with somebody who's going to be like them 100% and they want to feel comfortable enough with you to ask questions.
Ways to get into the habit of saying positive words to ourselves
“Pay attention to all the things that you do really really well.”
Tonya keeps a log in a journal where she keeps track of her victories for celebrating. This includes when she gets random things on Facebook Messenger, letters and e-mails and things like reviews.
“You're taking those little things and you're putting them into one place. Everything that somebody says that you're really good at this. You've really made a difference in my day. Thank you.”
All of those tiny things are wins! I love the idea of keeping everything together so one thing that we do if somebody DM's us on Instagram or messages us on Facebook, sends us an e-mail, we screenshot everything! We keep it in one place so we have access to it. Now, it's good to remember these things but it's also good for marketing purposes. It’s good to put that out there into the world and let people know that you're doing incredible things and let people know what other people have to say about you as well.
Be present and observe
“We're all alone and it's just us listening to ourselves or it's in our head…in your head is the worst.”
In Tonya’s book she describes mindset as layers. You hear so many things about your limiting beliefs so we have to work on changing them. I know it's not that easy but Tonya says, “what you can do is you can change the things that contribute to those belief factors.” You've accumulated so much proof you now have the mindset that it's always true. You want to start to create proof that creates a positive system for your beliefs. You do that by changing the way you speak your words, your thoughts and feelings.
“When you attach your words or you start to change your words from negative to positive…it is the first step to changing your mindset. And it's the easiest thing to notice because it's loud. It's verbal or as you speak you hear it.”
Tonya is not saying change the way you talk but start with one word like ‘can’t’. Everything you say you can’t do, catch yourself saying that and find a word to replace it. I always say the word pushing…I need to keep pushing it. Someone told me to change that word and I now catch myself when I say that it and try to reframe it.
“When you're doing that constantly and there's no balance, you lose the money, the clients, the energy versus stopping and enjoying receiving it.”
Now, I think we do that all the time when we say we hold the energy and we hold the space. When I go into a launch and I want to fill 20 spots for the specific program, I will actually write down 20 spots on a sheet of paper. That is me holding space, that is me going there are going to be 20 names on here and I am going to fill them as they come in. I think it's just setting that intention of the mindset that it IS going to happen. If you start filling in names before they happen, you start to manipulate and control the how and who. There's not a guarantee until that money has been charged and it is in your bank account.
How to recognize triggers
“Triggers are the the people, the places and the things that can bring you from high vibe in a split second where you're like having a good day and all of a sudden something happens and you're like I'm in the worst mood now. Now I'm doubting myself or out and questioning my work or my value.”
Tonya says one of her favorite subjects is triggers. We all have them and a lot of times we don’t even realize them until we focus in on them. So we need to pay attention to how we feel.
“Your energy is everything, that's your magnetism. That's what people love about you that's what interests them into you. And if you learn to control that by paying attention you will learn to control everything in your reality.”
Tonya uses a scale from 1-10 to rate how she is feeling (you can find it in her book!). She says if you are anywhere below a 7 ask yourself, what triggered you to go below? How did you get there? There is nothing stopping you from doing what anyone else is doing! There are certain things they are doing that you could be doing too. Let that be an inspiration for you. I LOVE this quote from Tonya:
“It's about re-training and stopping the comparison game. It's about stopping looking in the mirror and seeing your flaws. It's about stopping the focus on what you did wrong and instead, shifting that to what you did right, what you are good at, what people love about you and what you love about yourself…”
You don't need to be an expert in everything but find your zone of genius and go with it! If you are loving Tonya you can check out her book on Amazon, The Mindset Switch, her podcast, The Profit Party or on social media, @tonyarineer! Join my FREE Facebook group right here: www.shesbuildingherempire.club and keep the conversation going! Share one of your big takeaways from this blog and be sure to tag me!
